I had taught different types of life skills during the 17 years of being with Educational Talent Search, not social/emotional life skills, but more like: How to address an envelope, how to write a resume, do laundry, fill out medical papers at the doctor’s office, and take part in a job interview. It was more of the life skills to help high school students get ready to ‘leave the nest’ when they go away to college.

Pros

It was always such a great pleasure to see how excited the kids got when they received a new fidget tool.  They absolutely loved getting something to hold, manipulate, and work with. 

Cons

I bought many of the tools with my own money due to the fact that I would not realize what I needed until I was shopping at Hobby Lobby and think…’I could use this to teach…”  so, I’d put them in my shopping cart and consider it a blessing that I was able to purchase things for the kids.  

The big Red AILS book has lessons that made it easy for me to build a trust and relationship with the students. Each one took me deeper into ‘their world of trust’ and by the end of the fourth lesson, I felt like we had bonded well. How many weeks do you spend building rapport? Approximately four weeks. It was shorter with the Watts boys, because we had so many things in common.

When you are open about your life, you can easily work your way through those first few lessons by sharing real-life experiences with the kids and they in turn want to share some things about their lives. It’s a great time of coming together without any judgement or criticism of one another. I share with them the kind of life I grew up in and what a struggle it was to be raised by a single dad. I let them know I was the Native kid who was ridiculed and lived on welfare. I was the unsupervised kid who went where she wanted and could have dropped out of school at any time, and my dad would not have been upset. I use my mess as a message and explain why I decided to not be a ‘victor instead of a victim’. I share my fitness story called, From Spud to Stud. They are in awe when they find out I’m almost 72 years old and still run approximately 20 miles a week.  

My story is shared a little bit at a time due to the fear of ‘triggering’ a student who might be going through the same thing at the time. I don’t go into extreme details and am very careful about how I express my feelings toward any of my family. I think the kids have enough to work through without an adult coming in the room and ‘dumping’ on them about their life story.  

It’s all from experience. When you’ve been 48 years in the public school system you have taught in every imaginable classroom situation. From 1976 when I first started teaching 5^th and 6^th in one room (with NO AIR CONDITIONING), to teaching sixth graders in the trailer house buildings that were supposed to be temporary (they have been there now for almost twenty years.) I’ve had classrooms where the kids knew exactly where to place the buckets on a rainy day and where to stuff the blankets around the window air conditioners during the winter (when I finally moved to a school that had window units.)

I have taught all female and all male classes in the past when my class was the same hour as P.E.. I have always enjoyed having the kids separated. It sure cuts down on the silliness of boy/girl romances. The kids focus better when it’s all girls or all boys, plus I can talk to them about things on a more personal level because they aren’t worried about what the boy/girl they like will think about them. All male class? (Answered previously. But, I did find out that anger management taught to boys is a whole new ballgame than when taught to a mixed audience or with girls by themselves. The boys told me they could teach me about anger management. Michael Hazelwood told me,  “Just knock the crap outta whoever is giving you a hard time.  Two weeks later, you’ll end up friends and the incident will be forgotten….unlike girls who get mad at each other as 6^th graders and are still mad at each other when they are in their 40’s.”  

I’ve lived in this community my whole life, I know the people, and I know the culture. I am super active in all avenues of the town. I know what is acceptable in the classroom and what I might present that would get me questioned. I’ve taught long enough that the majority of the kids I have in life skills – I have taught their parents.  Theparents  trust me 100% with their babies and many tell me how happy they are to have their child be in a class that I’m teaching. They share stories with their children of the things we used to do in the classes they had taught by me. 

I have 100% support from all the staff and faculty. I have been a part of Westville and Watts Schools for so long, all I have to do is ask and the answer is yes. Whatever I want to do in the classroom is met with enthusiasm and respect. I couldn’t ask for any more support than I get from these two schools.

How was it helpful? 

Being supported in what I do helps me to know I’ll always be a person they find a room for to teach life skills. I will be given help in the classroom by the counselors at any time I may need their assistance. In turn, I am always ready and willing to help the school by doing things like Goat Yoga, Origami Classes and helping with FAFSA nights, College App nights, Century 21 nights and Focus Days. I volunteer anywhere needed, even helping to find prom dresses and clothing/toiletries for students in need. I supplied PPE during the end of the pandemic. It was sent from Southern Plains, and it was sooooo appreciated.  

I would highly recommend a life skills class. My first year before I started working with Southern Plains, was a bit rough because I was handed a book and told to use it for my classes. As I looked over it, I could see the curriculum was for middle school students. I did what Echota Director Jimmie Fite told me and taught life skills from the book she had gotten from another tribe, but the skills were more like: setting goals, hygiene, respect, and high school planning. It was definitely not social, emotional, or mental health life skills, and I used it to teach 5th, 6^th and 7^th graders. I’d say start out with grades 9 through 12. Use the big red AILS book to help you get started; but create your own curriculum that suits the kids you have in class, your community and your school. Write your own lessons, establish your own objectives and put your own ‘spin’ on it. Get excited about what you’re doing, and the kids will be able to see you love what you’re bringing to the classroom, be genuine, they can spot a fake ten miles away. They will be able to tell if you care about them and really want to be in the classroom. Somewhere along after lesson number five I always let them know how much I love them. I tell them out loud. I’m honest when I tell them if it weren’t for them, I’d probably be somewhere volunteering in a nursing home….but, I want them to know that I love them and I love being with them in the classroom.  

Everyone is different, but there will always be a few kids in each class that you really ‘click’ with and you establish a bond. It’s human nature to be naturally drawn to particular people and it has always happened to me. Instructors must be very careful how much you pour into them because it could be like the time, I was mentoring a young lady that I felt like might be in an abusive situation. One afternoon she appeared in my classroom after the dismissal bell rang. I asked if she had missed the bus and if she needed a ride home. She had decided during that day that she would go home with me, and she wanted me to keep her, so she wouldn’t have to go back to the situation she was trying to get away from. After several calls to dear friends who worked with DHS, we were able to take care of her and place her with relatives (it was tough explaining to her that it would basically be kidnapping if I loaded her up and kept her at my house. Although, I would have kept her and raised her as my own.)  

I received the training from Jimmie when I first started in Echota. It was an all-day class with lots of role-play situations. It was helpful. I also felt like the time on Zoom I spent with Sheila and Terrance allowed me to learn much more about what I needed to know. I received many helpful hints and tips about what to say and what not to say. Both Sheila and Terrance were excellent mentors.

The comfort level had been built – one step at a time. I was honest with the students up front and told them we’d be discussing some really tough subjects. I described the class as being much like a marriage. In the beginning, we were all just getting used to each other, getting to know one another better, and then we began to slip into our defined roles as we shared more of our lives and feelings with each other. I was as honest as I could be by telling them I had never taught about anxiety, depression or suicide until I started working for Echota. I express how at first it was hard for me to be so upfront with kids about a subject like suicide. Once they realize it has been a learning experience for me too, they feel like they are talking to someone they’ve known for a long time about a difficult subject. I tell them that we can all learn together and if they have questions I don’t know the answers to, I’ll always find someone who does. I express how I want them to understand how much power each one of us has to save a life.  

Go into it with a positive attitude, learn all you can, and research frequently for all the latest information about mental health for teens. Stay up on what’s going on in your school so you can have special times to help them with self-care and maybe some yoga and meditation. Prom, school elections, cheer tryouts, FFA competitions – all seem trivial to adults, but to kids, they are HUGE stressors. If you can talk with them about some of the things they are going through in school and offer stress-relieving tips, the kids really do pick up on them and if you attend any events, you’ll see them using their deep breathing exercises and some of the calming methods they’ve learned. It’s so rewarding.  

Be creative, and use activities with your lessons. The kids LOVE activities. Plan your activity to go along with the lesson, if possible. If you reward kids, use Dove candy or Panda’s fortune cookies, they both always have positive messages inside. Make things for your kids. When they know you’ve taken the time to ‘make some special little gift’ for them – it’s amazing how they react. If possible, try to keep up with what the kids are doing. Congratulate any accomplishments your students have and encourage them in any upcoming competitions, ballgames, or special school events. If they think you’re interested in what’s going on in their lives, they will begin to share more about personal events with you.  

It wasn’t necessarily a referral to either counselor at Watts or Westville, but there were students that I would talk to both Mr. Yeager and Crissy Williams about. It was more along the line of if they considered McKinney/Vento student or not. Questions about parents or guardians who were taking care of the student at the time…those were the kinds of things I was interested in knowing.

My schools are so small that there isn’t a particular process at all. If I had questions about any student, I have the personal cell phone numbers of the counselors and they’d get right back to me with answers…..of course it helps when BOTH THE COUNSELORS were former students of mine and are more than willing to help me in any way. That’s one of the perks of teaching for nearly 50 years.  

I loved watching the kids when they get a new coping tool….I know to some people they look like toys, but we would talk about how many things with each toy/tool. For instance…the day I took Play-Doh. We smelled it, we squished it in our fingers, we rolled it in our hands, we created something ‘special’ and guessed what each other’s creations were. We colored Easter eggs for them to take home, and we made bracelets and necklaces – kids LOVE making things. My second favorite part was any time I’d bring them something I had made at home. I’m a crafty person and it did my heart good to make each one a special gift and fold their gift bags out of origami paper. No one ever threw away their bags.